Entry 32

[recording on]

*Her voice is strained and tense. Her words come out in a certain rhythm, making it obvious that she is reminding herself to breathe.*

I can't believe I came all this way...paid all that money...stressed myself out my by fending off the crew's unwanted attentions...only to find out that this woman was dead.

*She sighs and you can tell that she's struggling to keep herself together.*

I found a relative of hers. An aunt or something...Tyann is her name. I've called her and she's agreed to meet me later to discuss things.

*She stops talking for several minutes and you can faintly make out what sounds like betting going on in the distance.*

I haven't felt this alone in years. I don't even really know what to think...surely they would have told me if I was adopted. Wouldn't they? No, this is all just a dreadful mistake. Someone just looking for some money and they targeted my family.

I wish I had someone to talk to about this, to help me make sense of it all. I tried to call Falcun but he must have been busy because he never answered. I even tried to call Amillo but I wasn't able to get through to him either.

*She sighs and starts pacing.*

Not only is my parentage in question but here I am having these...feelings. Wanting to reach out to someone. Feeling lost without that intimate connection of friendship. I never used to care before. Why the hell am I worrying now?

Ugh...I'm even feeling vulnerable when I go out in the city. I won't tell Falcun that though. I don't want him to worry. Besides, I told him I can do this on my own and I will. I'm not about to let one moment of weakness redefine how I act.

*She pauses for a moment and you hear her open a bottle and take a pill.*

I just need to find a driver that doesn't want more from me than credits.

I'm really starting to miss having Falcun around.

[recording off]